The F-Word

Anything used beyond the bounds of moderation becomes mundane, and gross overuse is downright irritating, possibly offensive.

All writing coaches admonish their charges constantly to avoid awful adverbs and adjectives, some even despise alliteration. So modern language use of that four-letter word beginning with the letter F in many areas of grammar is beginning to grind badly.

It is a verb, it is a noun, it is an adjective, it is an exclamation, it is oh so tedious. My mother, who used the word occasionally, taught me that if it was to be effective it needed to be used rarely, and always in carefully considered context. Oh that her words could be broadcast to the nations!

My understanding of the origin of this word dates to the court of King Henry VIII, that conflicted and egotistical ruler, who wriggled and writhed to disobey all known laws of the day in order to accommodate his fleshly desires. In almost every such situation, his mind played awful tricks, and he imagined enemies around every corner. He was probably right if one reads Hilary Mandel’s Wolf Hall trilogy and other historians of that time.

But I digress. To keep abreast of what was being murmured in the corridors of his many residences he would instruct his courtiers to curry favour among the women, who were known to be hearers of all that was said, and so was birthed the phrase: “Fornicating Under the Command of the King.” If one keeps this in mind, the use of the word in countless contexts becomes quite ridiculous.

I watched a good film the other night, but it was completely wrecked by the constant use of the F-word – at least twice in every sentence. Really? Is this how language is being taught in schools and universities nowadays?

What has happened to the beautiful language of yesteryear, clever use of words to describe normalcy and thereby making it special?

 How about this from John Steinbeck: “It was her habit to build laughter out of inadequate materials.”

Or

“I had smelled many New Yorks but never the one governed by the sweet monarchy of a thousand slain gardens.” Pat Conroy

Or this evocative description: “… shabby wind-bitten grass …” Alan Bennet

And my best of all:

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness …” Charles Dickens

But I guess that is the tragedy of this modern life – few people read anymore, everything is small screen focused, and our youngsters only seem to talk and write in acronyms – how I hate them!

Wtf, itm, tmi, fomo, btw, and the latest one I learned last week: jomo – the joy of missing out!

So when people are stuck for a word, any word, and the letters haven’t been tried and tested, the one that rhymes with cluck and duck and buck seems to fit the bill.

I mourn how terminally ill language seems to be, when it is so important – after all, it is the method of communication and has been since the advent of man – should we not make the effort to speak it properly and teach our children to do so? We have worked to pay many thousands in school and university fees – should we not expect a better return on our investment?

I would be interested to hear what others think.

Happy days!