{"id":662,"date":"2019-02-01T11:23:40","date_gmt":"2019-02-01T09:23:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/glendawarburton.com\/?p=662"},"modified":"2022-10-12T10:33:02","modified_gmt":"2022-10-12T08:33:02","slug":"please-please-speak-english","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/glendawarburton.com\/?p=662","title":{"rendered":"Please, please, speak English!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"has-text-color has-vivid-cyan-blue-color\">Are there any other sixty-somethings out there who are\nintimidated by the internet, have empathy for flies trapped in spider\u2019s webs as\nyou battle the arcane intricacies of the world wide web?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color has-vivid-cyan-blue-color\">I am trying to revamp my web page, make it work for me as I\nam assured it should. Over the years odd kindly-hearted souls have sent me\nadvice on how to improve it, or pointed out errors, and I have dutifully tried\nto \u2018fix\u2019 what is \u2018wrong\u2019 resulting in clicking confusedly on various links,\nreading snippets of utter garble, finally giving up in favour of a cup of tea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color has-vivid-cyan-blue-color\">This week was crunch week. After all, I am not dumb, I told\nmyself. I have an above average IQ. Yes, I am not good with names and have\ncaused mirth and consternation in equal proportions in this regard. And I\u2019m\nclumsy, and fumble fingered of occasion, particularly when texting. But I am\nnot stupid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color has-vivid-cyan-blue-color\">On Tuesday I approached my web site with determination. I can\ndo this. I can figure out what all these bits and pieces mean, and end up with\na fetching site that will draw millions, including the much needed publishers!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color has-vivid-cyan-blue-color\">I clicked on the help button and found the tutorials. Decided\nto begin at the beginning. Pressed the \u2018get started\u2019 button and was on my way. Two\nhours later, neck stiff, eyes struggling to focus, back bent I staggered into\nthe garden for a stretch and a breather. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\" class=\"has-text-color has-vivid-cyan-blue-color\">\u2018I\u2019m not letting this get the better of me,\u2019 I growled at\nthe cat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color has-vivid-cyan-blue-color\">Now it\u2019s Friday, and with dread in my heart and a deep reluctance to connect to the internet, I realise I need to have a stern conversation with myself. Very pleased that I did. A light came on in my brain: These are children, who write these programmes. All this jargon is nothing more than childish twaddle. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-gallery aligncenter columns-1 is-cropped wp-block-gallery-1 is-layout-flex wp-block-gallery-is-layout-flex\"><li class=\"blocks-gallery-item\"><figure><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/glendawarburton.files.wordpress.com\/2019\/02\/glendablog.jpg\" alt=\"\" data-id=\"663\" data-link=\"https:\/\/glendawarburton.com\/glendablog\/\" class=\"wp-image-663\" \/><\/figure><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\" class=\"has-text-color has-vivid-cyan-blue-color\">I was still recovering from the time spent trying to find\nout what an avatar is, bumping into gravatar and blavatar along the way, only\nto discover the words mean \u2018icon\u2019! For heaven\u2019s sake why can\u2019t you simply speak\nEnglish! is it because you are all so young you haven\u2019t learn the language yet?\nIs Star Wars to blame? Dr Spock?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color has-vivid-cyan-blue-color\">I remember making up a gobble-di-gook language when I was a\nchild, but once I discovered the magic of real words I grew out of it. Is there\nany chance the same might happen to the computer generation? Or will we have to\nlive in this perpetual wonderland, that not even Alice would comprehend, until\nthe end of our years, which thankfully are less than they were when this\nmadness began.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color has-vivid-cyan-blue-color\">My other peeve is the need for initials. Everything is described by initials, run together un-separated by full stops, that leave one nibbling at possible meanings. URL? Underlying railway lines? Understanding real \u2026 ? upsetting royal laws? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color has-vivid-cyan-blue-color\">If you said \u2018Link address\u2019 I, and I am sure many others of\nmy generation, would understand immediately. No wonder we retreat in increasing\nnumbers to the relative safety of senile dementia and Alzheimer\u2019s!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\" class=\"has-text-color has-vivid-cyan-blue-color\">I haven\u2019t got there yet, and I still have to find a way to\ncircumnavigate this obstacle course of febrile imaginations, so think of me\ndear friends, as I connect once more to my page to uncover its secrets and\nproduce the best website ever!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Coming to terms with arcane web jargon<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"gallery","meta":{"content-type":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[109],"tags":[84],"class_list":["post-662","post","type-post","status-publish","format-gallery","hentry","category-my-thoughts","tag-gravatar","post_format-post-format-gallery"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/glendawarburton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/662","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/glendawarburton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/glendawarburton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glendawarburton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glendawarburton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=662"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/glendawarburton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/662\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1359,"href":"https:\/\/glendawarburton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/662\/revisions\/1359"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/glendawarburton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=662"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glendawarburton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=662"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glendawarburton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=662"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}